Death Smile

She is an Iron Lady. I have never seen her blink an eye or being moist in a situation. She took tuition classes, her husband has a decent job and her son was studying in a boarding school in a different town. A family of 3 with dreams of their own, I knew them as a courageous and friendly family.

But destiny had other plans. A plan that shattered their lives and bought them to knees. But I just had one question. Why?

One midnight, the phone rings aloud. The call is from her son’s Boarding school. They inform that her son collapsed in his room last night and they did not have a clue till one of his room mates tried to get in to the room. With a heavy and scary tone, they inform her that he is dead. 

Her world has just gone down. The couple rush to the boarding school and get his body back home. Doctors inform that he died due to a respiratory problem leading to cardiac arrest. 

I met her a few weeks after her son’s death. She was her usual self, didn’t talk much and I did not have the tenacity to stay longer. But I could see the pain she locked herself in.

Not willing to remain inside and refuses to come outside. I could see how her world has collapsed with a blink of an eye.

But disasters have this uncanny knack of knocking doors twice. Again, I was living with the same question. Why?

I visited her a few months later and during the normal conversation, ended up enquiring about her husband. Her response startled me. He has been diagnosed with cancer and is under treatment for the last 3 months. Her voice, not for a minute, had a touch of fear or apprehension about the situation she is dangling with. 

I was out of town for 4 months. When I was back, I learnt from her that he passed away last month.

Her life stood toppled and devastated. Yet, she stood firm and I did not see tears in her eyes. She continued with her tuition classes. She started visiting a nearby orphanage and offered her services. Few months down the line, she quit classes and became a regular in the orphanage.

I have since moved out of the city since 7 years. Last time I visited her place, door was locked and neighbours have not seen her around for sometime. As of today, I don’t know where she lives or has moved to.

I, at times, remain astounded by the ways of life. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. We have sinned. Yet, life bestows numerous opportunities to redeem ourselves. And, we survive. We live to see glory.

But in the adversity of time, life decided to show off it’s gruesome face to this lady and her family. 

I am still living with the same question. Why?

*Inspired by real life events.

Calcutta, My Alma Mater

Some cities just don’t give you a living, they breathe and emote, just like you do. Some cities make you what we are today. Calcutta is my soul and it’s DNA is the foundation of my life.

What I possess in Calcutta is beyond words, sometimes beyond comprehension. Feelings juxtaposed, memories unlimited and segmented nostalgia. Very few will understand, many will not. I don’t expect them to. 

Calcutta, I live you everyday.

Best of Me

‘Am I the best’ is a question I often ask myself.
Brutally, the answer is yes. Confidence, yes. Arrogance, no. Well, a bit of it actually.
‘Best’ is usually the most used and most abusively used word around.
Gives you this feeling of anonymity in the vicinity of giants twittering around the epicenter.
Yes, I am the best.

What indeed is the best of you? You the human being, you the professional, you the conscious dweller or you the outsider in a world of conniving emotions?
Yes, the best in you is a segmented potion of your bilingual buckets. You live in each of them, in moods and shapes.
People around you see the segments in you, they don’t see you. They will never see you unless you show the face of it. But is it that important? Is that a milestone?
You are the biggest asset in your life because you believe you are. Yes, tell this to yourself, everyday, every time. People who want to see you, they get to see you. Not outside but within. You are visibly hidden and secretly adrift.

We are impostors of our own self. We decide to have different personalities in various spheres of our society. Yes, it demands so.
No, not pretentious but the ability to not showcase the real you to all is a skill. You don’t inherit but you develop the nuances of it as you grow.
Growth. Yes, we want to grow but sometimes, growth needs to be refined to understand the science of evolving.

Are we predators? No. Second thoughts, yes.
Predators of a different kind. We are intellectual predators.
We hunt opportunities, search avenues, build relationships and develop a clan within enhanced parameters of our dimensions. Parameters change, but evolution doesn’t.
Yes, I am the best.

Conquer others? No. Rulers conquer, leaders become examples by practice.
Gather respect? Yes, a gradual process though as intangibles consume time and ability.
Buy love? Yes, not platonic but through mutual understanding and admiration for each other.
Excel? Yes, but not on the rampage.

Yes, I am the best.

Lots, and coming in..

Has been a good and hectic time of pandora around with glitz and curiosity in equal measures.

No, not because of Germany’s triumph but for the vanquished ones. Have always been an admirer of Albiceleste since school days and those sentiments probably stick around. Not to mention, I played ‘pada’ football during much of my younger days and have some fond memories from those packet sized foul mouthed haute. Days of such ignorance and yet so blissful ! Loved the world cup though, some interesting matches with the seldom class that hovers around the big match players and the vital games. Though 1.30 IST hurt, but got through with little hiccups.

Went through some invigorating movies to laud myself. Bit of weaver stuff as my appetite for versatility keeps growing :).
Feeling about money and making money are 2 very different things in life, 2 such films played a frivolous penchant to my bickered thought process.
‘Wolf of Wall Street’ was a Scorsese chaos with a stunning collage of characters woven in dollars, drugs and pussy. It had a rawness about the protagonist, not to mention his incredible ability to persuade and destruct his instincts with an insatiable orgy towards the inimitable greed.
Oliver Stone’s Wall Street is more sober, yet punches in intrigue with oodles of human tussle that involves ego, deceit and vengeance through convulsive relationships. Yet again, greed is a component that emerges as a human parasite. Extinguished but never withers away to defy a comeback.
Though a Scorsese patriot, Stone’s Wall Street was more real in terms of pudding versus pie tussle.

Lot more happened, and I could just about remain reclusive as work treated me as its host with lot to unravel. And, continues, that is.

54 CW glories, the pinnacle at Lords and the nadir in Manchester, Djokovic’s Wimbledon triumph, Hockey India’s march till Australia put paid to the illuminating hopes.
My Blu-ray orders that never erodes away, Calcutta’s rain which defines intermittent oscillation through our mandate chores.
WWDC was more mellowed to replenish our expectations, iOS 8 means less as much as a device that would pour more that intends to carry 8 with aplomb.
Apple is all set to end my wait for a 5.5 iPhone, hopefully it transcends to a kettle of revolution that once made my 4 flaunt with incorrigible pride. It still remember my stores saying – ‘the days of iPhone 4 were an absolute chaos, and few around knew what an iPhone would do for them in the next few years’. Do I say more? Don’t think I have to.
I must say that Samsung Note 4 could tease the next iPhone (not as much as Google Glass did to re-imagine our tech tooth) but I would like to see an overhaul for the latter.

My in transit relationship with a voice over awaits in the next few weeks, and am waiting for an even quicker backlash. For now, if that gives you reason enough to sit through for my next.

mere me!

for people who don’t know, am a crazy movie freak with subtle variations. For people who know, it’s nothing short of a aberration.

well, to cut through the pragmatics, I am basking in my own warehouse with a collection that could pour evidence with a dent.

am too much to ask for, care a damn to get critical and get myself in the brink of a known merchandise with playful gawd.

nothing short of an adventure, watching classics and revering icons with such brutal precision.

the sound, the ambiance, the collage of characters in a dimensional beam and getting the whispers right in to your ears – the joy of such buoyant derivative is imperative.

Ah! The endeavor to last for a lifetime, till my nemesis overpowers my voices.

random and voltage..

last 3 weeks have given my potent force, an enamored and polarized bloke!

some silken laced moments, an emotional walk around some of the most beautiful lanes and by all means, being accompanied by the woman of my life is a journey of a lifetime that has just begun.

don’t believe in rebirths, but do believe that a birth has an intention to fulfill, and human desires are notorious in getting them fulfilled. I, being one of those in the illustrious bandwagon, ceases to admonish and galore with the naiveness of an amateur sailor on the pacific.

missing the paradoxical events that have been the breeding ground for a long time, omnipresent yet petals do flourish amidst adversity! rejoicing never had a quotient level to diminish porcelain stripes, and I continue to rejuvenate amongst those who are oblivion of a great lesson, taught and learnt with a gimmick of a pulverized lion. A hungry one too!

pride is a great protagonist, never lets you down! decisions can never be wrong when conviction is the greatest ally! and, patience is a great virtue when backed with instincts of an empowered mind..

Amen! ah.. doesn’t it invoke polished yet rampant values? well, that’s an amalgamation of me, courageously loves to be daunting!