When fear is pain

When he went through the ordeal around the same time last year and came out with a courageous smile, I saluted his tenacity and positivity. I was reassured. He has a long life ahead.

One year down the line, and today, I have been thinking hard. After this phone call, I sat and was sitting for a while. Is that it? A man has all the steel to live, but fate is disposing it all.

I fear losing people who are close to me. In fact, I am shit scared. All my notions and spectacular energy falls flat on my face as this fear is taking me apart. It is pain for him, probably more pain than you and me can ever imagine. But, for me, I am scared.

I still have faith. In God, in whoever and whatsoever that is supreme and all powerful and beyond human. Could be science, could be anything else. I don’t know. But I still believe he will sit upright, stand up and talk to me like he did for the last 17 years.

I don’t want to win battles. I want him to live.

Sun Days

Day or night, the sun never goes down.

It wallops, it gallops, it eats your head, it vibrates. But never goes down.

Glittering waters or the artistry of the clouds. Deep meanders or open flings. It ain’t going down.

Sun never goes down. Hope never goes down. We are hope.

roadmap

Steering thought process, courageously striving through. Not the shadows, rays get me inspired.

the glimmer tale

Sometimes, you just have to stand up, look around and weee! It’s there, it’s always been there. I have been lazy enough to ignore it and it has in turn been a wierdo, staying discreet. Brightness is to be seen, energized and rejuvenated. I know, it’s always around lest I decide to keep myself deprived.   

when bliss is around

Your open eyes is my moist yolk,
Your sleep is the deepest wait of my life.
I wait, I wait, just waiting is my job in hand,
You open your eyes, and life redeems me.

Inside the womb, your kick was a myth,
You came out and your slimy smile makes me go bonkers.
You look at me and its sheer enigma. Yes, it still is.
Merely holding you in my hands for few minutes is visiting the sublime.

Day was spent in miscellaneous meander, you still did hover around my thoughts like heavy clouds over perennial landscapes.
All for your love, so much worth than we actually, and seldom realize.
As I write, I crave to take a glimpse of your pervasive innocence,
Day or night, you rule me.

This had to be told. Yes, I just did. I remain encamped and the future is born.

Chennai – Mayhem to Life

the city of indian sunshine, the glory of south indian peninsula,
quite always the doyen of heat and coffee, temples and bay of divine cuisine.
ambushed by nature, swallowed by waters, mangled with chaos.
chennai, the city of belligerent mother. today.

raven by marauding clouds, broken hearts and thousand more.
galloping horse sedated by the titanic verse, vetted by chapters unlike past.
when monsoon never arrives, oh boy! sure it did this time.
whose vengeance? ask mother gods to their bosses of imperious poise,
holy cow, cows and sheep afloat amidst human jab of path breaking menace.

survival, ah, the call of the hour and wait for thousands.
desperate measures and teething myriads of city living under shades of mercurial salt,
forged missions and buckets of help from a nation that comes together to live.
unrivalled, un-hatched, un-helmed – still pouring as I invite solace to calm madness.

not victim or witness, a son who is just elated to find his own in the lap of safety,
while weeps for the ones who have none to lend a thought about.
at a time of clad moments when time and machine have given away to human arms,
when money and technology were swept away through to shelter and survival.
yes, the days when sanity took over. for a change, we wept. we must.

lets forget the intolerance gig, time to embrace the inevitable quit and slit the git,
lets do it once, for us and only for us. not for the humdingers of political cats.
yes, yes, we are doing it. truly, we are at it. all ruins yes, hope is the victor and disparage collides.
chennai – yes, you are rising and am at the top, with you, surging away.