There are few moments in life when chaos and joy are seen together. I saw these moments in the past few days which tells me that we are indeed blessed in a way to be together with the people we love and do things together that gets us unrivalled in a blissful tale of relationships.
Lights outside, lights inside our lives. Brightness has an inevitable bond with us, stitched with such eventful days.
I want them back, but decided to move forward with hopes of a reunion. Soon, again.
For a very long time, I never realised the town had a different name. For me, it never mattered. It was her place of residence and that is all we knew during our growing up days. For us, it was enough. In fact, me and my sister never cared to know her name as well, for a very long time. Again, it doesn’t matter as names and relationships don’t always go hand in hand. Not for me, not for my sister either. She was our dear Granny, my mother’s mother and there lies the inherent respect that we derived and which deemed to exist forever.
We visited her and grandfather during our summer vacations, once in a couple of years. We lived far away but the connect was somewhere, ethereal to say the least. My grandfather was a reputed personality in the adjoining areas surrounding the town and widely respected. I and my sister used to be in awe of the palatial house they lived in and where my mother was born and raised. I am still in awe of that place, I don’t think we can afford to build a house like that in the city, even in today’s economical surge of possessions. The other day, I told my wife that the kitchen in the house used to be the size of our master bedroom, so it’s now easier for you to understand why we were so awe struck. She was the queen of the house and we all ran around like scattered pedestals from a garden of blooming flowers.
The house was perhaps the starting point for the current generation in our family that has grown up and is established in different parts of the world. Our cousins lived in different places and our visit was similar to a reunion – catch up, play pranks, have fun, irritate and disturb my grandfather’s afternoon siesta, and get the flak for it as well. But, nothing changed as our granny used to be at the back of us, supporting our trivial acts of childhood. All that and more, today belongs to the world of folklore.
I will never quote as being very close to her. Distance is one factor, second we did not belong to the classic generation where a spate of people lived under the same roof – grandparents, parents, cousins, relatives. But, the little moments spent with her during our early years will we etched as golden moments in our lives.
As we grow older, she grew old as well. Ironically, the sad part in the happiness of we growing up is the difficult episode of watching our parents growing old. Inevitable and excruciatingly believable, painful at the same time. She went through a similar phase, we lost our grandfather few years back which obviously was a big jolt in her life. From being the queen of independent living, I saw the transition that relegated her to the confines of four walls and very few people around her. Not that love diminished, it’s just that times were changing and she was part of the usual escapade.
With a life lived long enough to watch her children and grandchildren grow up and leading a fulfilling life, were indeed the high points of her illustrious life. Most significantly, her contribution is unsurpassable as we don’t exist if she doesn’t. A unhinged legacy.
Some people don’t leave us, they just distance themselves to keep vigil and see that we are safe. A mother is irreplaceable and her loss will be felt. As for her influence in our lives, time will make the statement at an apt hour of realisation (it does already!).
Paatti, please rest in peace and help us to remain blessed.
You are the first man in my life. My first Hero, and perhaps the finest. You raised us with all the limitations around, and stood tall to give us the life we live today. You were the reason why I love bikes today, I remember the first time I kick started your bike and how awfully scared I was. You taught us the value of money, and how difficult it was to earn it. But you made it look easy, and I never realised it. Your life is the foundation of ours, it still is. You are my inspiration, our superstar. I am a father today and your benchmark is my aura. We don’t love you, we celebrate you.
Holding your just born son in your hands is a feeling beyond describable words. For a change, I have run out of ammunition as the newly born has swept me off my feet and I don’t feel the earth beneath me. The moments when we saw each other – yes, you can argue that the baby was oblivious of his father’s inquisitive eyes that ran like crazy to say – son, am your father and I love you. Yes, he will not respond now, nevertheless but a new era has begun, a new relationship has just created this world around me that I never knew existed till you happened to me. You don’t know who I am, yet. But you are my world, my life, my heartbeat. My everything, I guess. And I want you to know it.
Cheers to us, our life and we both are indebted to your mother, the woman of my life and the featherbed of your existence.
Till you open your eyes, mine will remain famished.
The last 3 weeks have been crazy, probably crazier than I thought it would be. But didn’t surprise myself as the transition ought to be instrumental in shaping me in the next few months. Not nerves but a feeling described yet not exported in its vague bonanza.
Pre nuptial-knot days were thrilling and some fine moments spent with the family will be remembered for a long time to come. With Pups down here with Mushki, times were so wonderful that I failed to notice that it was flying at the same pace. Photographs speak a language of emotions and I look back at them with such ominous glee that cannot be plagued over.
Now, for the third in my life. 2 beautiful women blessed my life with unsurmountable love and irreplaceable qualities of a super human being. Truly and evidently, their influence shows up in every frame of my life. Today, I am every inch proud and evasive in saying that my better half would exceed me with palpable blush. A simple and sweet human being, she continues to impress in what might be an extended stretch of a lifetime. Thanking them would be a shame but can’t shy away from saying this: Mom and Pups – I love you! Sarada – Your love will take our lives forward and bind the family together like never before.
Ah! Emotions have never been my best playground, yet.
It’s been a travel sojourn, if I can term it that way in a nutshell. From the backwaters of Allepey to the stylish suburban of Kochi, from the ever gorgeous Athirapally falls to the heavenly shores of Goa, from the in-lawful Bangalore to a sublime Vijayawada – it has been nothing short of a roller coster ride. I am drained and living out of a suitcase hasn’t been a great feeling. But, I guess, every moment has been worth it. Satisfying.
I am back. Normal livelihood calls upon and I have some critical decisions to be taken in the next few weeks as a new journey begins. Waiting for it and the showdown to the penultimate has been perfect. Almost!
Rest of 2012 and 2013, am coming for you with full josh and excitement of my life. Amen!