A dialogue with God


I ain’t a saint, I understand Karma but am equally susceptible to worldly pleasures and I am not ashamed to admit that I am normally sane and quite easily, overtly ambitious by average human standards.

I lost someone very close to my heart earlier this week. He was a more than a friend, a brother who did not require DNA to get us connected the way we did. And so connected we were in a way that I cannot describe in words, however eloquent they might be. It was a relationship where we cared for each other and we were equally critical of our decisions we made in our lives. But what stood out was the chemistry and the understanding we shared, we could just stop and take off again with elan. I am now poorer in this world, for I don’t have another friend like him in my life to have such torrential conversations. My loss stands undisputed, collapsed.

I now feel that someone, somewhere wasn’t very pleased with what we had between us. So disruptive has been this loss, so quantum has been the grief that I am only searching for reasons since Thursday when this colossus tragedy was conveyed to me.

I am searching for reasons, here and there. I try to divert myself to my daily chores but I am struggling to focus on whatever I do. What ridiculous reason can one give to the young wife who has just lost her husband in a matter of few minutes? How do I console parents who has have just lost their son? How can I ever provide an excuse to a father who is disastrously participating in rituals for his deceased son who had come in for a vacation to spend quality time with him?

How should I? How can I? Can you please please explain? I beg you to return him even if you have a reason which is evidently unexplainable beyond my admittedly ignorant stature.

He had dreams, he was excited to find out what life had in store for him, he has never been so happy in his life, we dreamt of a future that could change our lives. All washed away in minutes, a life well fought and well bred has come to a painful, screeching halt.

I might stop with questions, you might still return them with answers, but that is not what I want.

I want him back, please return him. Please.

Will you?

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