When fear is pain


When he went through the ordeal around the same time last year and came out with a courageous smile, I saluted his tenacity and positivity. I was reassured. He has a long life ahead.

One year down the line, and today, I have been thinking hard. After this phone call, I sat and was sitting for a while. Is that it? A man has all the steel to live, but fate is disposing it all.

I fear losing people who are close to me. In fact, I am shit scared. All my notions and spectacular energy falls flat on my face as this fear is taking me apart. It is pain for him, probably more pain than you and me can ever imagine. But, for me, I am scared.

I still have faith. In God, in whoever and whatsoever that is supreme and all powerful and beyond human. Could be science, could be anything else. I don’t know. But I still believe he will sit upright, stand up and talk to me like he did for the last 17 years.

I don’t want to win battles. I want him to live.

msksmiles

Flamboyance meets me, and I could be contagiously luring. It kind of comes off in my writing, as my stories of passion and indulgence unfold.

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